“… start with the first thing close in, the step you don’t want to take.”
This from the poem Start Close In by David Whyte and the name of my blog. It reminds me to start small with the first thing and not become so overwhelmed by all the possibilities that I don’t start at all. Start with the first step.
I’ve been thinking about and talking about starting a blog for probably close to two years, but I’ve always gotten too overwhelmed by not staying in the now. Thinking that no one would read it and then, always then, the comparison trap. The “I don’t write as well as ____,” “I have nothing interesting to say like ____ does,” “I’m not as smart as____,” and the dreaded “I’m not enough.” Always comparing and always looking into the future, not staying close in, starting with the first step.
So here it is, my blog. I don’t know where it will go and I’ve finally let go of any expectations for it. If I’m the only reader it will still be an accomplishment. It will just evolve as it will, as I do, as we all do.
My intention for it? To share my journey and maybe have others share theirs with me. I’m beginning on a new path in my life, as I’m now well past mid-life but don’t yet consider myself old. It’s an interesting place to be, especially realizing that I can still be anything I want to be when I grow up! Even now, at nearly 68 years of age! Who knew? Certainly not me and it comes as a great surprise at the number of blessings that come with aging.
That said, at my age the archetype is the crone, a sign of wisdom and knowledge. I SO don’t feel wise or knowledgeable, but nonetheless, here I am. Maybe in the course of writing this blog I’ll discover that I do have a bit of wisdom to share. Or maybe not and that’s ok too.
Here I’ll write about my view of life from this place. It will include musings on aging, grief, and loss. It will also, and mostly I hope, include my thoughts on joy and love and compassion and laughter and all the gifts that each day brings. I’ll probably also share a photo of the new tattoo I’m planning to get soon!
I hope some will choose to join me as I continue to discover what comes next and share with me the path you’re traveling.